Don't be incredibly jealous of my MS Paint skillzorzez
Lousy screen tearing
Better A.I. in a brick
Saddened by the suck
Aliens: Colonial Marines (Xbox 360) Sega/Gearbox $59.99
I have to start by saying that I am a HUGE fan of Aliens. My home is littered with toys and statues of Xenomorphs. I have an Alien cookie jar and two pet Facehuggers (George and Wheezy). When I heard the announcement for A:CM, I was beside myself with excitement. Each time production was pushed back a little further; I wasn’t afraid because my policy is, “I would rather have a game pushed back to be made better instead of rushed and sloppy.” My argument was proven to be invalid.
Aliens: Colonial Marines starts off sometime after Aliens ends. The opening cinematic begins with a distressed recording from Hicks requesting an evac. From that point on the cinematic was unwatchable, each time one of the emotionless, marionette-like characters moved, his image would be skewed by horrific screen tearing. The surrounding area was lousy with aliasing and less than stellar textures.
Once I gained control of my marine, I was ready for action. I stumbled through claustrophobic hallways for a few minutes before meeting with my squad mates. Alright, NOW, I’m ready for action. I followed my team mate around for a few more minutes while we were searching for our objective item when we stumble across out first distressed marine. Finally, I’m set up to fight my first bug! The Xenomorph comes from the darkness and lunges at me and then runs into the room behind me, it’s on! I spin around to give chase, following the slimy death machine into the other room where I find it waiting patiently for me to enter. In a dazzling display of gun control that would make the NRA proud, I fire a single burst of lead from my assault rifle into my unmoving target and kill it instantly.
As the game continues on, I find myself combating more Aliens that move more rigidly than the marines in the opening scene. There is also something odd about their A.I., it appears that their combat instincts tell them to run around in circles and attack occasionally or to stand still and do nothing. I dispatch my foes with a cool head and a steady trigger and continue on my way.
I venture deeper into the derelict space ship encountering more Aliens along the way. I meet Aliens with the power to just appear in front of my face from nowhere as well as some that have the ability to reach through solid walls; not in a “SURPRISE!” Alien kind of way, no, more of a buggy program kind.
Eventually, I came to a point where I was mobbed by several Aliens at once while my marine companion ran straight past them like they weren’t even there. By this point I have come to expect this kind of behavior from my A.I. partner because I have caught him slacking off several times before. I would be in a fight with a small swarm of bugs while he waited in a corner and wondered how he got himself into this situation. There were too many bugs, I died. I’m forced to restart at a checkpoint that I had reached ten minutes before. With new knowledge of the surprises ahead, I prepare myself and fight to the place where I had previously perished. I get to my destination, unload a clip into an Alien with no effect, die. Again, I’m transported ten minutes into the past. Fight my way back to where I died, get swarmed, useless partner, useless gun, dead. Suddenly, I felt like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. One last shot. Fight, Shoot, Swarmed, Dead!
My frustration had reached its peak, I was done. “Game Over, man.”
Aliens: Colonial Marines, had great potential. The early demos looked promising. Gearbox’s work with their award winning Borderlands games gave me great hope that A:CM would be a phenomenal game. In less that one incredibly frustrating hour, I was ready to call A:CM, “Duke Nukem: In Space.”
Pros: Great sound
Cons: Poor Graphics, Clunky Animation, Dumb A.I., Buggy Gameplay, Discount Weapons
Score: 1 of 5 E.T. on the Atari 2600 was not this frustrating.
-PatientZero ::End Transmission: